I am relatively calm as an adult. As a child, I was not. I am a true INFJ.
As a child, I had an Irish temper.
As a 10, or maybe 12 year old, I was so depressed. I tried to commit suicide. Tried. Our basement was not finished. I was so angry and sad and alone. I stood on a chair. I tied a rope to the beam. Tied a noose arund my neck. Stepped toward the edge of the chair. My right foot was off of the chair. All I had to do was jump and the pain would be gone.
It was then that I felt something push me. I had to step back onto the chair it pushed me so hard. Then, I felt a wave of calm. I felt "everything is going to work out".
It was Sam. I was supposed to have a sister in this life. Life happens and she didnt make it. But she has always been with me.
I had seen her as a child. Little glimpses. Doorways in walls that were not there. No, I am not crazy.
Sam has visited me many times. Hopefully I find her in this life somewhere.
I have told a few people about this. They think I am crazy.
I am also embarrased about the letters I used to write to my BFF in middle school. Writing has always been my thing. My tool to let the crazy not be so bad.
But we all do stupid things. And that is ok.
No comments:
Post a Comment