I hit my goal of under 300. I am so excited. Then the weight loss crawled. So, this weekend, I increased my calories to hopefully revv up my metabolism. Or, it slowed and I gained weight back.
Much alcohol was consumed. I did not plan on that. But I went out, in uncomfortable situations, and held firm. So thats a start. and have been asked to go hang with people today, but do not feel like it. Im so done with people. I need to recharge after Saturday.
My fear came true. People see me as being gay. If I was gay, that would be fine. But I want a man to look at me. I have a long way to go I guess. I have to get this shell off of me. Get over my educated fears of social anxiety.
I love being an INFJ but it is a curse as well. Only so much social interaction. And I am emotionally exhausted. I feel a trigger coming. I am on an edge. I am trying to bring myself back from the edge, but also being an empath does not help this.
I also stressed myself out by getting my nails done. So a stressful weekend. But good stress. Healing stress. Finding me stress.
So my stresses this weekend:
Manicure (store full of women) (Friday)
Unexpected invite to hang out (Saturday)
Hang out (Saturday)
No plan (Saturday)
Visit new places (Saturday)
Alcohol...more than normal (Saturday)
Asked again to hang out (Sunday)
Pissed off family (Saturday/Sunday)
Lack of sleep (days now)
Worry about a friend (days)
Wow. No wonder I need a recharge.
Current book: "It's Time" by Bruce Buffer
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